A. Minnesota Destinations – Get the Facts

B. Things We Missed in Minnesota

When I’m planning our trip around a state, there’s always more fun stuff to do than I can squeeze into the schedule. Sometimes good things get left out due to timing, distance, uncooperative weather or an unexpected change of plans (uhem, like if your rental car brakes catch on fire because your husband didn’t realize he had turned the parking brake on). Here’s some things we missed that I would have liked to add to the itinerary.

• The Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCAW) – this remote wilderness is approximately 1 million acres of land, scattered with over 1000 lakes. Named to several national travel “must see” lists, the area borders Minnesota and Canada and is the definition of quiet solitude. It has over 1200 miles of canoe trails, 12 hiking trails and over 2000 remote private campsites. What it doesn’t have are stores, cars, motorized boats or cell service. It’s pure unadulterated wilderness, with the pristine waters and abundant wildlife to show for it. Many outfitters are scattered around the outside of BWCAW, offering gear rental and trip planning services.
• North American Bear Center – a nonprofit devoted to all things bear, this educational facility has a large ecology lodge with interactive exhibits, a 2.5 acre bear enclosure where you can watch the 3 resident bears go about their daily life, daily activities and behind the scene tours, and a dedicated room just for kids to touch exhibits, explore nature, do artwork and see what a bear den looks like inside.
• International Wolf Center – a center offering daily programs, an exhibit on wolves, a short movie in their theater and viewing of resident wolf pack.
• Vince Shute Wildlife Sanctuary – this is a 500 acre facility that offers viewing of wild black bears. There is a small gift shop and a staff member gives a talk on arrival but the experience is about watching the bears from the observation deck. Visitors park down the road and are bussed to the observation deck on shuttles that run every 15-20 minutes. The bears are wild, and as such, come and go as they desire. They also offer photography work-shops.
• The Lost Forty – a surveying error in 1882 resulted in 144 acres of prime timber being missed by logging crews. Now those trees are part of a very tiny percentage of old growth timber remaining in Minnesota. There is a one mile trail winding through the 300-400 old towering pine trees.
• Itasca State Park – this state park is made up of more than 32,000 beautiful acres and over 100 lakes. It’s famous for housing the headwaters of the Mississippi River but is also popular for the amazing outdoor recreation it offers. You can wade here in the birth waters of the mighty Mississippi as it begins its 2552 mile journey to the Gulf of Mexico. The park offers a variety of housing, including camping, cabins and a lodge with rooms and suites. Some amenities are seasonal but include a restaurant, outdoor interpretive center, gift shop, a visitor center, a cafe, biking trails, boat tours, the Wilderness Drive and hiking trails.
• Minneopa State Park – this state park is relatively small at 325 acres but it offers the charming opportunity to view some waterfalls and drive through a bison range. The newly re-established bison herd currently has 11 animals. The drive gives scenic views of the valley, bison range and the animals – it’s open only during specific times and days so check the schedule. There are some short hiking trails and overlooks to view the waterfalls. Camping, picnic tables and a visitor center are present.
• Red Wing, MN – this town located on the banks of the Mississippi River has a wide variety of activities to offer. Initially it had caught my attention for being the home of the flagship Red Wing boot store. Red Wing boots are popular in my family and visiting their museum, taking a virtual factory store, and visiting their store sounded fun. But in addition to the Red Wing boot experience, this town offers hiking, golf, fishing, boat and bike rentals, rails to trail options, marinas, boat tours including one specifically for viewing and photography of bald eagles, a variety of museums (pottery, ski jumping, military and marine) and many unique shopping opportunities.
• Polaris Experience Center – if your family has an interest in snowmobiles, ATV’s, side-by-sides or motorcycles, then a visit to Polaris would be fun. The company was founded in the small town of Roseau, MN and even though it has expanded to a global business, operations in Roseau still play an important part in engineering, research, product development and testing. It’s also here that they offer the Polaris Experience Center, which offers exhibits and videos that detail the company’s history, innovations and products over time, including the 2nd snowmobile ever made. Factory tours are also available – need closed toe shoes and no children under 6.

C. Minnesota Food, Facts & Fun

agates – the state gemstone

One billion years ago, lava flowed across the area which is now Lake Superior. The lava had bubbles in it, which were trapped as the lava cooled and hardened. Over time, those little pockets had water seep into them, depositing minerals in layers and forming agates. Millions of years later, glaciers scraped across the lava beds and deposited the agate rocks on the shores of Lake Superior. Searching for the rocks with colorful banding is now a fun pastime.

There are books and many websites detailing how and where to try to find Lake Superior agates. The general idea is to search anywhere there is exposed natural rock – along shorelines is the most scenic and popular but quarries, gravel roads, stream beds and construction sites are all good possibilities as well (with permission obviously, don’t go trespassing). The Lake Superior agates are unique due to their rich red, orange and yellow banding. Most of them range from the size of a pea to a walnut but rarely, ones the size of a bowling ball have been found. Various factors dictate how collectible the agates are, including the overall size, pattern of banding, colors and damage.

It’s often recommended to go searching for agates after large storms, when fresh rocks can be deposited on shore. Since large storms cannot be custom ordered, and are otherwise undesirable on vacation, we did not have this option. Instead, we spent time digging down through the loose rock layers on the shoreline. Although our enthusiasm was on par, our luck was not. We did manage to find 2 small agates, but by small, I mean they were the size of a grain of rice and easy to lose among the lint in your pocket.

The kids and I love searching for pretty rocks, and agates were on par with finding four-leaf clovers. We spent several hours looking at a random shoreline pull-off just north of Lutsen, MN but there was a lot of rock throwing, water splashing, snacking and other activities interspersed, which contributes to the fun. You don’t have to be a geologist to participate so I would definitely recommend giving it a shot. In fact, some of the all time most amazing agates have been found by newbies. If you want to take it one step further, Moose Lake, MN offers an Agate Days festival every year. This includes an Agate Stampede for the kids, where dump trucks deposit mounds of dirt already handily stocked with agates.

unique food: juicy lucy

When exploring a new state, we make a point of trying any unique food they offer. The Juicy Lucy (also spelled Jucy Lucy) is specific to Minnesota. It’s not so much a new dish, as a unique spin on an all-American classic. The Juicy Lucy is basically a cheeseburger but instead of the cheese layered on top of the burger, the molten gooey goodness is located on the inside of the burger instead.

There is some debate as to when and where they first originated. Matt’s Bar & Grill in Minneapolis has been featured on several TV shows, named in publications, won awards for its burgers and declares itself the home of the Original Jucy Lucy. On the other hand, the 5-8 Club, which opened in 1928, has also been featured on several national TV shows, has several awards to its name, and declares itself Home of the Juicy Lucy.

In competitions of this nature, I like to order from both places and conduct our own experiment. However, on this vacation time and stomach space were limited, so we only ordered from the 5-8 Club. The 5-8 Club has several varieties of Juicy Lucy’s, while Matt’s Bar & Grill keeps it classic with just the original Jucy Lucy. Either way, I’m sure you can’t go wrong. Ours were absolutely delicious and we would highly recommend trying out this fun local food.

OTHER FOOD NOTES:

1. The World’s Best Donuts – Grand Marais, MN

It’s a rather lofty claim to name your shop The World’s Best Donuts. However, the residents and visitors of Grand Marais, MN seem to all agree that it’s an accurate title. We made a detour one morning to try their donuts because that name begs assessment, but we quickly found out that it takes a little time and patience at The World’s Best Donuts. On our first attempt, we arrived around 7 AM on a Thursday morning in July and the line was stretched out to the sidewalk and down the block. We had a ferry to catch so we came back later in the afternoon and still ended up waiting in line for 45 minutes. It was worth it though! I’m not a donut connoisseur but I like a good donut as much as the next person and these were fantastic. The World’s Best Donuts is a family run business and most famous for their cake donuts, which I heartily recommend.

2. Betty’s Pies – Two Harbors, MN

This restaurant was recommended to us but we didn’t have time to go. They serve breakfast and lunch food but are most famous for their pie.

3. Russ Kendall’s Smoke House – Knife River, MN

I’m super sad that we forgot to stop here. Literally, when we’re on the move during a road trip, I will mark stops on the map and I missed adding in Russ Kendall’s. This is a take out place that sells raved-about smoked fish, but you can also pick up crackers, cheeses and other picnic type food. It was featured on several TV shows, and Andrew Zimmern has it as #1 on his “12 Favorite Bites on the Road” list.

D. Minnesota Diary – July 2021

Normally we tour states on our own, but we managed to talk another family into going along to Minnesota with us. The Souders Family probably started regretting it right around leaving time. As we pulled out of the driveway, en route to Maryland for our flight to Minnesota, it was near hurricane conditions. Rain was hammering the car, trees were lashing wildly in the wind, branches and water covered the road, and visibility was severely limited. For the first few minutes, our family engaged in a lively debate about what would happen if our roof blew away and our house was without a lid for the next week.

Once we made it to the interstate, vehicles were plowing through standing water on the road, had their flashing hazard lights on due to limited visibility, and everyone was clinging tensely to their steering wheels with both hands. Driving 45 mph the entire time extended a 1 hour 45 min ride into a solid three hours and raised Chris’s stress levels slightly beyond the healthy range. As a supportive passenger, I kept checking the radar, looking for clear skies ahead. As it turned out however, we were keeping pace with the storm front, so an angry black cloud stubbornly stalked us the whole way. We survived the monsoon and arrived at our hotel, slightly more ragged and damp than anticipated, but relieved to have overcome the first challenge.

Early the next morning, we made our flight without incident and arrived in Minneapolis, where things went a little sideways on us right out of the gate. First, Adalyn, the youngest member of the Souders family, needed a car seat and it soon became clear that hers did not make the trip from PA. After staring forlornly at the empty baggage claim tracks, waiting in a line and then explaining the problem to an employee, it was determined that Adalyn’s car seat mistakenly got on a plane to Texas. In a mixed bag of good and bad fortune, there happened to be another rogue car seat that had landed in Minneapolis without its family, so the airline gave us that one instead. If we were going to trade with an unknown family, at least it was a car seat and not an actual kid.

In the meantime, the Souders family had found their agent, who had the pleasant people skills of a hardened war lord. In less than 90 seconds, she had reduced the family to nervous tears and desperate panic. Since we were just hanging out on the curb, waiting on a mysterious assistant to show up, I went to lend moral support to the Souders. Their agent’s personality dictated that she should carry a club, but since protocol prevented weapons, she made due with a vicious personality and wicked glare. Either her life had led her down an extremely unsatisfactory path or she was working undercover for private ride share companies, laboring to shut down the Minneapolis car rental business one human interaction at a time. Despite the agent’s worst efforts, we got the issue resolved and the Souders climbed into their car, ready for the next leg of the journey.

The rental car employee climbed out of the vehicle, took one look at bedrangled us standing there in jeans and sneakers, and took off with the keys, mumbling over his shoulder that he had to check paperwork. He appeared concerned that we were possibly not fit for a luxury vehicle, a concern that I shared, and refused to give us the vehicle until our paperwork was verified a second time. He was probably envisioning 3 high-powered businessmen showing up an hour later and all he had left in the garage was a dented minivan.

Even though he took the keys, the SUV was unlocked, so we spent the time loading up our luggage and then climbing inside to touch all the glossy surfaces and marvel over the shiny bright buttons like a bunch of uncouth heathens. When he returned, the assistant reluctantly handed over the keys, like he was being forced to hand off a newborn baby to a pack of wild wolves, and finally, after vanquishing many challenges, we were on our way to see what Minnesota held in store.

We headed north out of Minneapolis and spent the night at an airBnB in Orr, MN. It was a peaceful farm house, with the best stocked kitchen I’ve ever seen. Most airBnB kitchens that we encounter offer a few pots and pans and random utensils, selectively leaving out at least one essential tool for any particular meal. This kitchen however, was loaded down and ready for any possible culinary idea you would conceivably consider. We could have been been invited to a potluck and taken a casserole, hauled a slow cooker to a picnic by the lake, hosted a movie night with air popped popcorn, or decided to make homemade pizza and cupcakes and it was all there for the using. Feeling a little regretful that it was too late to invite the neighbors over for dinner, we ate and went to bed.

The next morning we bounced out of bed, ready for a day at Voyageur’s National Park. I adore national parks. They’re beautiful. All of them. Voyageur’s National Park is mostly made up of water so it’s best taken in by boat. It does have some mainland hiking trails but its real charm is all the interconnected lakes and waterways and myriad tiny islands. We packed a lunch for on the boat and then eagerly leaped into the car and took off for Anderson’s Canoe Outfitters, where I had reserved a pontoon boat. I had booked too late to find a boat that was already in Voyageur’s National Park waters, so instead I rented a boat that was in a connecting lake. Minnesota was in the midst of a drought at this time. They had not received rain for over 30 days and the forecast for the day was bright sun. However, as we drove to the lake, it appeared as if there were clouds on the horizon, which was slightly worrisome.

We all climbed into our various vehicles and followed the friendly fellow approx a mile down to the road to the dock. There our pontoon boat was tied up, patiently waiting for us. Our guide leaped on board and ran through the basics of the boat operation, safety gear and the importance of keeping red buoys on your right and blue ones on the left. Or maybe it was the other way around. It was very important he stressed because it indicated rocks under the water that were shallow enough for the boat to hit. It would really ruin a vacation to recreate the Titanic. After an alarmingly short amount of time, he tossed us the keys like we were perfectly capable of captaining this boat off into the wild blue yonder and trotted off. We made a few trips back and forth from the vehicles, lugging swimming gear, fishing supplies and food on board and then, with a potent blend of trepidation and excitement, we cast off and motored out into wilderness.

We made it approximately 100 feet beyond the No-wake zone, when the first rumble of thunder was audible. Nervously, we scanned the skies, uncertain if we should turn around or put all our faith in this being Day 36 with no rain. Another boat tore past us at top speed, heading out into deeper water to have fun. We motored in a circle, doing the equivalent of a boat wringing its hands in indecision. Another crash of thunder abruptly made up our minds, and we swung around and headed for the marina. As we sped back, anxiously watching the weather over our shoulder, we noted with some concern that in order to get back into our designated spot, we needed to parallel park.

The kids meanwhile, watched the weather, making ominous reports about lightening, increasing wind speeds and an approaching wall of visible rain. The good news is Chris Souders does not apparently have any underlying heart disease. He survived his stress test and after a mere 5 attempts, an admirable first captaining job, docked the boat without any damage. As we were scrambling to collect gear and dash up the dock, another boat came flying into the harbor. We paused amid the beginning of rain drops to watch the captain, who was apparently born on-board a boat and cut his first teeth on a buoy, speed toward his parallel parking spot. At the last second, he cut the steering wheel hard and threw the engine into reverse. Then with an artfully timed final forward surge of the engine and well choreographed crank of the wheel, the boat deftly slid sideways into its spot, bobbing gently. I would have applauded except my hands were full and the rain was picking up. We sprinted to our over-priced vehicle, tossed everything inside and then slammed the doors closed just in time for the heavens to open up. 

For awhile we sat in the car, forlornly watching our pontoon boat getting lashed with rain. Initially the radar indicated it was going to be a passing storm, but clouds just kept appearing out of no where and joining the storm party. After hashing out options, we decided to drive to Voyageur’s National Park’s visitor center so the kids could get their national park books stamped and do the Junior Ranger booklet to earn a badge. The drive was 45 minutes because Voyageur’s isn’t some little pond. As soon as we pulled into the visitor center parking lot, the sun burst out and the birds started singing. We rushed a little getting through the booklets because we were burning beautiful boating time, and then hot-footed it back to our pontoon boat.

This time we marched up to the boat like the seasoned captains we were, reloaded our gear, wiggled out of our parking spot and aimed for open waters. The men had brought along fishing gear and the kids had brought along swimming gear, so we fished and boated and swam at the same time, which didn’t affect the swimming at all. I cannot say the same for the fishing. The place is so vast, you could boat around all day and never see the same shoreline twice. There are dozens of deserted little inlets and islands and nooks and crannies. We found an inlet that had a small public beach with a boat dock, so the guys dropped us off for awhile and then went fishing where it was quiet, without kids doing cannonballs off the back step. A few hours later we found a huge rock wall along the shoreline. The kids and I bailed off the boat, swam to shore and then I climbed barefoot up the hill beside the wall and out onto the top. Chris was shouting from the boat, but it was hard to hear him. Something about a life insurance policy and a cabin in Idaho.

The boating app I had been recommended was difficult to understand in that it wanted to know where you wanted to go. Sometimes when you’re lost, the problem is that you don’t know where you want to go. Fortunately, we were able to find our way back to the little tiny red star on the map at the end of the day. We managed to dock this time with less shouting and sweating, refueled the boat with the longest fuel hose I’ve ever seen in my life and then headed back to the airBnB to further admire all the kitchen gear.

The next morning, we bid goodbye to the beautiful farmhouse and headed east to The North Shore. The North Shore comprises the entire shoreline where Lake Superior meets Minnesota. Due to the lake effect, its significantly cooler than further inland and we managed to catch it during a particularly cold time. Despite our visit being exactly in the middle of July, the day time temperatures were in the low sixties. Plus there was a wind chill, which meant that it was barely warm enough to sustain life. There were moments I thought maybe I was going to die on vacation in July from hypothermia, a terribly tragic ending. Chris forgot to pack a sweatshirt, and the man who wears shorts despite freezing weather was actually cold enough that he was motivated to buy one.

As cold as we were eating lunch, all the wicked steep stairs down to the falls and then back up again got the leg muscles churning out heat. In fact, Macy was concerned at one point that her legs were going to explode, like popcorn kernels blowing up. But the falls were really worth it. They were absolutely beautiful and at Two Step Falls, we were able to climb up from the first level to the second and cross over the water. The kids played in the water, catching crayfish and accidentally getting wet feet. After we staggered out of the state park, we headed to our new airBnB in Lutsen, MN.

The beach at Split Rock Lighthouse is made of rocks, many tiny rocks, a few unique rocks, a lot of medium rocks and some large swathes of sheer rock with small tidal pools. We picnicked while skipping rocks into the water and then walked down to where we could see the beautiful Split Rock Lighthouse.

After we properly admired the view, we lastly moved onto Black Beach. This beach is actually man made from years of dumping taconite tailings. Its unclear to me if they intentionally made it or it was a happy accident but the place is beautiful with the trademark clear water, a few cliffs, some picturesque driftwood and black sand. We kept our shoes on the whole time however, partly because the sand is fairly large grain and a little uncomfortable for people with baby feet like mine and also because we were freezing at 66 degrees and a stiff wind.

Early the next morning Chris and the kids and I set off for Grand Portage, MN to catch a ferry to Isle Royale National Park. This national park is an island which is technically part of Michigan but sits closer to Minnesota. Its a 1.5 hour ferry ride to the park, which you can pass by marveling over the clear water even more than you already have, taking photos of a passing light house, admiring a ship wreck and laying out your family’s plan for the island. Isle Royale is famous for their moose and wolf populations. There are long-running scientific studies watching how these populations ebb and flow and interact. We wanted to see a moose so bad we could practically taste it so we selected a hike that we hoped would boost our odds.

When the ferry docked, we waited through the welcome talk fairly patiently and then headed to the visitor center to get the kids’ national park books stamped and pick up Junior Ranger books. We also paused for a snack, which drove Chris a little close to the edge. He’s a large meal eater in a family of grazers and our need to nibble will frequently leave him vibrating in place. We quietly headed off on our selected trail, trying our best to be stealthy, which is not a category we normally excel in. Part way into the hike, we crossed a stream that had fresh moose tracks at the edge. As best as we could tell, the moose appeared to be heading the same direction as us so we stepped up our speed and made repeated shushing sounds when someone started to talk, our version of being sneaky. Unfortunately we did not spot a moose but the trail was nice and the view at the end overlooked Furman Lake.

After admiring the lake view while eating lunch, we hoofed it back to the dock where there were picnic tables to snack (Chris did not feel the need for a snack) and finish the Junior Ranger books. Otters played in the water around the dock, prompting us to decide that they’re one of the most adorable little fuzzy creatures created.

After the ferry ride back to the mainland, we decided to visit Grand Portage State Park before heading back to the cabin. Jax vehemently disagreed. He was tired from all the silent speed hiking, starving and felt his death from exhaustion was imminent. We stopped and bought him a family size bag of Doritos, which revived him nicely and according to him, saved his life. Grand Portage is the highest waterfall in MN and is also fun because a lot of happy otters live there and because it straddles the border with Canada. So as you stand on one side, admiring the waterfall and otters, Canadians can stand on the other.

As we’re driving back to the cabin at the end of the day, Macy realized her pants were on inside out all day. It’s not clear if this affected our luck in finding a moose. Shortly afterward, as we’re talking about our day, Chris, who has an above average dislike of ticks, says “After all the hiking in brush and grass that we did today, we didn’t find one tick. That settles it. We’re moving to Minnesota.”

A few minutes later, he gets out to pump gas. Leaping back in the car he shouts, “Holy Hell! It’s so cold! And it’s July! Who would ever want to live here?!?” This is life with Chris. A stream of wildly divergent conscious. That’s why its called an adventure.

Friday was our last day on the North Shore, so we headed a little further north to hike to Devil’s Kettle Falls. There is an interesting and vaguely spooky phenomenon going on at this waterfall in Judge C.R. Magney State Park. The river is initially a normal river. But at a large outcropping of rock, it divides in two and one portion empties into a giant hole in the ground, while the other half continues on as a normal river and pours over a waterfall. The portion that empties into the hole, deemed the Devil’s Kettle, just appears to disappear forever. Over the decades of trying to determine where it goes, they’ve dumped everything from ping pong balls to GPS trackers down the hole to see if they pop back up elsewhere but…..nothing. In the pursuit of knowledge, someone reportedly even heaved a TV into the hole, as well as a car. How they thought this was going to solve any mysteries, was a mystery unto itself. As if a car was just going to come bursting out of someone’s well a half a state away?

Scientists have since decided that the water actually boils back up from the ground and back into the river from below the falls but its still an eerie watery detour. And here’s the crazier part, we witnessed people wading in the water above the falls! The normal non-disappearing portion of the waterfall is impressive all by itself. It has enough water and a high enough drop to make an intimidating roar, which coupled with the disappearing falls portion, really makes you just want to marvel from a distance. The water doesn’t appear super deep but its fast, forceful and slippery. Nothing about the situation invites casually strolling around 20 feet from the edge. Minnesota, true to form, had a few polite signs which suggested it was wise to stay out of the water, lest you fall and get sucked into the giant kettle hole, never to be heard from again. I would have thought no sane person would want to risk accidentally going over the edge in wet sneakers and holding a camera but there they were, making risky decisions with abandon. The sight made me want to clutch my imaginary pearls. But from the safety of the viewing platform, the falls were absolutely gorgeous.

After surviving that hike, we went agate hunting along the shoreline. The kids and I love searching for treasures and in Minnesota, that meant finding an agate. These are rocks with beautiful bands of color that are popular to search for on the rock beaches in Minnesota. I had read about what they looked like but we didn’t know the first thing about how to go about finding one. Apparently you can sometimes just find large ones laying around like seashells but that method wasn’t working for us. So after observing a few people scattered along the long shoreline, we started digging at the water’s edge. Chris passed the time crushing small rocks with larger rocks, napping in the car and throwing small pebbles at those of us searching for agates. Eventually, we managed to find a few very small specimens. Our level of celebration was perhaps out of proportion for the tiny pea-sized agates but it was like finding an adorable tiny four-leaf clover.

Saturday morning it was time to move south again. We collected our gear, bid goodbye to Lutsen and headed south along the North Shore, en route for Minneapolis. The drive south was beautiful, with gorgeous views of the water. We made a quick picturesque stop to stretch our legs at one point and then set our sights on the state capital.

Our first destination in Minneapolis was the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, which required figuring out a pay-for-parking electronic meter. It wanted to know the license plate number of our overpriced luxury SUV, which was parked clear across the large parking lot. So after several laps back and forth across the lot for license plate numbers and then a forgotten water bottle, we eventually headed into the park. Our favorite sculpture was the giant blue rooster because who isn’t entertained by a 2-story colorful chicken? There was also the famous spoon with a cherry, a flower garden, a colorful bridge crossing a large street and many other beautiful sculptures.

That evening we ordered some Juicy Lucy’s from the 5-8 Club. The Juicy Lucy is a dish specific to Minnesota and it did not disappoint. Its a burger stuffed with melted cheese in the center and comes in a variety of flavors. Just thinking about it right now is kindling a severe craving. After eating, the kids swam in the hotel pool before we went to bed. That may or may not have been the highlight of their trip. In the past, on the way home from an amazing state, we’ve asked the kids what their favorite part was. Sometimes the answer is something I hope for, like hiking to a gorgeous deserted beach, but we’ve also gotten responses that include the bunk beds in a rental house, a McDonald’s play area, and the (small, square) hotel pool. Spending thousands of dollars, taking a week off work and planning a string of cool activities around a state, only to hear your kids rave about the slide at McDonald’s is like taking the vacation equivalent of a bullet to the knee. But I bandage my wound and soldier on because that’s why its called an adventure.

Sunday morning we hopped out of bed, ate a breakfast of champions that consisted of random snacks and left overs in the hotel room, and then linked up with the Sounders to go to the Mall of America. In the parking lot, the Souders threw away chocolate covered cherries they had bought at a chocolate shop the day before because they were worried they would melt in the car. I had no idea we were traveling with such monsters. If there’s a risk of chocolate melting, it should be eaten immediately. All of it. In one sitting. No chocolate waste. After that shocking tragedy, we rallied and entered the mall. The Mall of America is the largest indoor mall in the northern hemisphere, which is an impressive category to win. It has an amusement park inside, plus bowling alleys, movie theaters, zip lining and by my estimate, about 10 million stores.

The kids did a ride at the Nickelodeon amusement park first, which was an impressive roller coaster. Then we viewed the Lego store, which is easy to spot by the giant life-sized Lego structures suspended from the ceiling above it. Considering the cost of one small Lego kit inside the store, I can only imagine the ones on the ceiling were approximately the price of a luxury SUV.

Before going, I had partially viewed the directory of stores and made a list of the ones I thought we would enjoy. The list led us around the place like a giant scavenger hunt, so we went up escalators to candy stores, headed north to a toy store, circled back south to an outdoor equipment place, walked through rainbow arches to view M&M art, wandered through a giant Crayola place, got confused inside a mirror maze and tapped some lady on the arm to find out where she bought her luscious looking cotton candy. It turns out she was as lost as we were in the mall and had no idea on what level or direction she had wandered past the cotton candy. It wasn’t even clear if she knew what day it was, which we didn’t judge because we weren’t absolutely certain ourselves. So we set off on a quest to find the cotton candy, which I’m pleased to report was eventually successful. These cotton candies were absolutely adorable. I’m really not much of a consumer and I’m definitely not a foodie, but this place was whipping cotton candy into beach ball-sized shapes that looked like stuffed animals. You could choose a bunny or a pig or a bunch of other options and I just wanted to squeeze them all and then bury my face in them.

At the end of the day, Chris’s fitness tracker indicated we had walked a little over 10 miles. Jax was limping slightly from a sore ankle and we were all exhausted from our urban trek. We linked back up with the Sounders and staggered out to the car to head back to the hotel. The next morning we had an uneventful flight home. The Souders car seat reappeared from its detour to Texas, so that was a happy ending as well. These adventures are not restful and we usually come back tired, with sore muscles and having lost a few pounds. But we’re also bursting with stories and memories and excited to have explored another state.

Thank you for showing us a great time Minnesota! We loved your North Shore, your agates, Jucy Lucy’s and nonchalant assumption that everyone can make their own safety decisions. And the hotel pool. The kids really loved the hotel pool.